Human beings are remarkably adaptive. We learn, adjust, and grow in response to every new situation life presents. Yet, while adaptability is innate, ease in transition is not accidental. It is cultivated. The move from school to university, from home to hostel, from dependence to independence becomes far smoother when children have been trained consistently and patiently, through disciplined routines over many years.

Being an only child, many assume I must have grown up in an indulgent, pampered environment with minimal expectations. The truth could not be further from that perception. My parents had a clear agenda during every phase of my life, from toddlerhood to adulthood. Expectations were age-appropriate but non-negotiable. There was no two ways about responsibility.

From waking up in the morning to preparing for bed, routines were firmly established. Tasks and chores were part of daily life. Weekends brought a little flexibility, a small window of autonomy, but never a complete abandonment of what was expected. Making my bed, washing dishes, setting the table - these were not optional extras; they were integral parts of growing up for me. Over time, these chores transformed from obligations into skills and eventually into habits. Today, my bed-making skills are on par with the housekeeping standards at any 5-star hotel. Importantly, I was not merely asked to “do” things; I was given feedback. If a task could be done better, I was told how. Improvement was expected. Ample appreciation came my way for what I perfected and excelled in. Excellence in simple routines was quietly nurtured. What may have seemed mundane at the time became foundational in later years.

Shielding children
Today, however, there is a growing trend to shield children from household responsibilities. Many young people move out of their homes having never managed basic chores independently. The result is predictable. Faced with the realities of independent living, they often feel overwhelmed - at least initially. Managing laundry, cooking, cleaning, budgeting, organising study schedules, and maintaining living spaces become unfamiliar challenges. Instead of building systems, they seek substitutes - frequent takeaways, expensive meal plans, cluttered spaces, irregular routines. Without the discipline of structure, independence feels burdensome rather than liberating.

Home-making, in its truest sense, is an art. It is not merely about cleaning or cooking. It is about order, responsibility, foresight, and pride in one’s environment. These qualities cannot be taught overnight at 18. They are absorbed gradually through childhood and adolescence by participating meaningfully in family life. When children contribute to household chores, they learn far more than practical skills. They learn time management. They learn accountability. They learn that comfort is sustained through effort. They understand that every member of a family contributes to its functioning. These lessons quietly build resilience and self-respect.

Responsibility strengthens character
Parents sometimes hesitate, worrying that chores may burden children already busy with academics and extracurricular activities. But responsibility, when age-appropriate, does not burden - it strengthens character. A child who can organise a study table is more likely to organise thoughts. A teenager who manages a weekly task develops the discipline required for university deadlines. Routine breeds reliability, and this must be mindfully instilled early on.

The goal of schooling is not merely academic excellence; it is preparation for life. Schools can teach critical thinking, collaboration, and communication. But the habits that sustain independent living are cultivated at home. As parents, we must resist the temptation to do everything for our children in the name of love. True love is unconditional, and tough at times, with the intention to prepare. It does not overprotect. It does not remove every obstacle. It trains steadily, with patience and consistency.

Transitions will always bring uncertainty. But children who grow up with clear expectations, disciplined routines, and meaningful responsibilities step into adulthood with confidence rather than confusion. They do not see independence as an abrupt shift; they experience it as a natural progression. Let us not deprive our children of this vital phase of learning. In allowing them to contribute, to take responsibility, and to master everyday tasks, we are gifting them something far greater than convenience - we are gifting them the competence and skill required to navigate life on their own, after finishing school.

Dr Sheeba Jojo is an educator living in the UAE

Article source: Gulf News